“Working to help parents raise money-smart kids.”
Hello, friends!
On this Martin Luther King, Jr. Day, I’m thinking about dreams. Because dreams are at the heart of much of what we do as parents: We have dreams for our kids, and, in turn, they have dreams for themselves.
So this week’s “3 Ideas to Share & Save” will focus on nurturing those dreams.
— 1 —
Making Dreams Come True: When our kids are young, they dream of becoming astronauts, YouTubers and even garbage collectors. And truthfully, there are probably just as many dreams as there are kids: wide-ranging, creative and different.
One way our kids can eventually manifest their dreams is to set goals. And as I’ve discussed before in this essay, we can help them by introducing SMART goals.
SMART is an acronym and goal-setting framework:
Specific 🎯
Measurable ⚖️
Attainable (or Achievable) ✅
Relevant 💡
Time-Based ⏳
The domain of money is a great way for our kids to learn to set SMART goals, as virtually all young children will dream about attaining something with money they don’t yet have. So this desire presents us with an opportunity.
And when that time comes, you can read all about setting goals in the article above and in my book, The Art of Allowance. We’ve even created a handy digital tool, a SMART Goal Label Generator, kids can use to create goal thermometers and visualization pictures they can paste onto their Save jars.
— 2 —
Be Good to Your Future Self: Dreams are one way we’re good to our future selves. Specifically, we tend to think big about what we can achieve. And if we discover that these dreams are truly in line with what we want (and not just what others want for us), then there is no telling what we can accomplish.
Sometimes, though, we’re not so kind to our future selves. This conduct is particularly true when it comes to money. For instance, our brains are hard-wired to discount the value of something in the future relative to something in the present. This tendency is called hyperbolic discounting, and it’s an important enough concept that we included it in our “Good Money Habits” series for tweens and teens:
Being nicer to our present selves is part of what makes us human. And, of course, we should want our present selves to be happy. That’s a good thing, right? 🤔
However, trouble ensues when we ignore our future selves too often. We simply need to learn that a little short-term discomfort can have lasting long-term benefits. This is not an easy concept to internalize, particularly for adolescents, whose brains are still forming. But having some familiarity with these ideas early can set a foundation for useful future thinking later.
— 3 —
Relinquish Control: The recent drama involving US Men’s National Team star Gio Reyna, his parents and his coach highlights the last idea I’d like to share with you.
Reyna’s parents were both soccer stars, and their son is considered a soccer prodigy. To say they’ve been hyper-involved in his development is an understatement. They were upset with his lack of playing time at the recent World Cup, and a scandal ensued. So now we’re witnessing the ugly side of parents not willing to relinquish control of dreams they have for their child.
Back when I coached my kids in youth soccer, I saw a similar dynamic play out, albeit on a much smaller stage. Most parents were wonderful and appreciative that I was coaching their kids. A few, though, were “helicopter parents,” steering their kids’ budding “careers.”
One of our jobs as parents is to encourage our kids’ dreams. Doing so might include signing them up for AYSO soccer, playing with them in the backyard or even enrolling them in private lessons.
Because let’s face it: Entertaining our children’s desires to be athletes or astronauts is cute and fun. We’d all like to watch a SpaceX launch, turn to a friend and say, “Yeah. My kid’s flying that.” 🚀
There’s a fine line, though, between encouragement and control. We want to be wary of obsessively pushing our kids in a direction that may not follow the path they want. For problems arise when goals are less theirs and more ours. However difficult it might be, we must eventually relinquish control and allow them to have (and change) their own dreams.
So let’s teach our kids to set and save for goals. Let’s help them learn to be better to their future selves. And then let’s step back so they can fulfill their own dreams.
Perhaps they might set SMART dreams for themselves. But whatever it is they decide to do, we just want them to do it to the best of their abilities:
“If a man is called to be a street sweeper, he should sweep streets even as a Michelangelo painted, or Beethoven composed music or Shakespeare wrote poetry. He should sweep streets so well that all the hosts of heaven and earth will pause to say, ‘Here lived a great street sweeper who did his job well.'”
– Martin Luther King, Jr.
Until next week, enjoy the journey.
John, Chief Mammal
P.S. Please consult with a financial or investment professional before engaging in any decisions that might affect your own financial well-being.
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