“Working to help parents raise money-smart kids.”
Hello, friends!
Naturally, I’m upset about what’s happening to the people of Ukraine. Since I imagine you are as well, I thought I’d share some encouraging words this week. So let’s begin with Mr. Hopeful himself, the late Fred Rogers.
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Ray of Hope: If you’ve never watched Mr. Rogers’ congressional testimony, then I urge you to take seven minutes right now. I guarantee your day will be better because of it.
And a word of warning — you might need a tissue. 😢
However disillusioned current events might make us feel, Fred Rogers shows us that if we appeal to human goodness and genuinely try to connect with others, then even the most hardened cynic may see the world as we do. And giving Rhode Island senator John Pastore goosebumps? Priceless.
Below are the lyrics Rogers delivers. They fit nicely into the notion of self-control I’ve been sharing with you over the past few weeks.
What do you do with the mad that you feel
When you feel so mad you could bite?
When the whole wide world seems oh so wrong
And nothing you do seems very right?What do you do? Do you punch a bag?
Do you pound some clay or some dough?
Do you round up friends for a game of tag?
Or see how fast you go?It’s great to be able to stop
When you’ve planned a thing that’s wrong.
And be able to do something else instead
And think this song:“I can stop when I want to
Can stop when I wish
Can stop, stop, stop any time.
And what a good feeling to feel like this
And know that the feeling is really mine.”Know that there’s something deep inside
That helps us become what we can.
For a girl can be someday a lady
And a boy can be someday a man.
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Humankind: Taking a page from Fred Rogers, let’s stop to consider the journeys we’re on to teach our children money smarts.
Isn’t it better to embark on these financial adventures with a trust that our kids will make good decisions? Perhaps we shouldn’t worry so much about the mistakes they’ll inevitably make.
To that end, I just finished Humankind by Rutger Bregman. Bregman makes a strong case that, despite the diet media outlets overwhelmingly feed us, humans are inherently good. He then suggests we enter into personal interactions this way: not naïve, but rather hopeful and charitable in our approaches.
I think there’s a lot to like about this perspective. For starters, our experiences will undoubtedly be more enjoyable if we’re expecting them to be so. And of course, trusting our children to do right will certainly be beneficial to them.
If you’re still unconvinced, then consider how successful businesswoman and humanitarian Kat Cole evaluates interpersonal interactions. If you are occasionally conned or duped, then think of the experience as a small tax to pay on the kinder, trust-first approach. The benefits far outweigh the costs. ⚖
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Turn Worry Into Work: We have a saying here at Snigglezoo, the company I run that distributes this newsletter and produces The Art of Allowance Project featuring The Money Mammals and Adolescent$.
“Turn worry into work” is what we assert if something is stressing us out. And this newsletter is a prime example of our mantra in practice. Since I fret each week about drafting something useful for you, there’s no better solution to that worry than writing.
If you’re concerned that a trust-first approach to your money-smart system will backfire, then think of the alternatives. If your worry keeps you from setting up a program, then you may be depriving your kids (and yourself) of the opportunity to have open money conversations that sprout from their experiences, both good and bad. 😳
When we set up a system, it’s natural to stress about our children’s making mistakes. However, I’ve found that the benefits of a program outweigh the costs (literally). For instance, often what we perceive as errors aren’t really mistakes in our kids’ eyes. Consider that playset they bought and haven’t touched for a few weeks. Perhaps the trade of their fifteen dollars for several hours of intense fun was worth it.
A system also gives you a context for discussions about, for example, the accumulation of stuff. You can start by providing your perspective and sharing your values. Then your children can process those thoughts and make future decisions in line with their own developing standards. You’re offering them the chance to work through important concepts with you as their guide.
When viewed through this lens, mistakes seem like a small tax to pay.
As always, enjoy the journey!
John, Chief Mammal
P.S. Please consult with a financial or investment professional before engaging in any decisions that might affect your own financial well-being.
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