“Working to help parents raise money-smart kids.”
Hello, friends!
One of my resolutions this year was to read fewer productivity books. Yet I recently dove into Oliver Burkeman’s Four Thousand Weeks: Time Management for Mortals.
Its title, however, is misleading. 😏
I knew from Burkeman’s appearance on Sam Harris’ “Making Sense” podcast that the book was less focused on productivity itself and more centered on a philosophical look at the pitfalls of our productivity obsession. In it Burkeman takes what could be described as an anti-time management approach by suggesting that time isn’t a typical resource. For unlike wheat, livestock or even money, time can hardly be managed.
“We tend to speak about our having a limited amount of time. But it might make more sense […] to say that we are a limited amount of time. That’s how completely our limited time defines us.”
Though I’ve yet to fully digest all the lessons hidden deep within the pages, I think you’ll find that the following three ideas from Burkeman’s book dovetail well with what we’re trying to accomplish on our own families’ money-smart journeys.
— 1 —
Think Beyond Imposter Syndrome: Burkeman’s insight can help liberate us from the tyranny that any amount of self-awareness brings — namely, that we’re not qualified to do an important job.
“It’s alarming to face the prospect that you might never truly feel as though you know what you’re doing, in work, marriage, parenting, or anything else.”
You’ve likely heard the term “imposter syndrome.” It’s often invoked by business mavens who explain that they’re wracked with the guilt of being found out: Their charades may soon be over when someone discovers that they’re making things up as they go along.
Imposter syndrome is also clearly a concept with which any parent is familiar. Sometimes it feels as if we’re part of a massive, meta-analytic study which we conveniently describe as “real life.”
My older daughter brought this idea home when she asked if she and her younger sister were experiments. Upon reflection, I knew that my knee-jerk reaction (“Of course you’re not experiments!”) was incorrect. 🙈
Obviously our kids are experiments. What else could they possibly be? After all, there are no manuals. I went back to my daughter to fess up, and I found the process liberating. Burkeman does so too:
“I sometimes think of my journey through adulthood to date as one of incrementally discovering the truth that there is no institution, no walk of life, in which everyone isn’t just winging it, all the time.”
So let’s embrace our winging of things. We’re all doing our best to contribute positively to this grand experiment. And we encounter new trials every day. You’re not investing genius Sallie Krawcheck, founder of Ellevest? Yeah, neither am I. But as I wrote in this essay, we mustn’t let such a perceived limitation deter us from developing our children’s interest in investing (or any other financial topic).
— 2 —
Be a Good Procrastinator: My older daughter (Experiment #1 as you might now know her 😉) is concerned that she is a procrastinator. And truthfully, procrastination is like the blood brother (or sister) of imposter syndrome. But perhaps we can channel our procrastinator energy, normally expended on worry, into the effort we need to get on with life’s meaningful tasks. Put another way, let’s convert fret into fuel.
Burkeman’s perspective on good and bad procrastination is worth considering here.
“The good procrastinator accepts the fact that she can’t get everything done, then decides as wisely as possible what tasks to focus on and what to neglect.”
“The bad procrastinator finds himself paralyzed precisely because he can’t bear the thought of confronting his limitations.”
Worry paralyzes us and prevents us from doing the things we need to do. For instance, it might keep you from getting your teen a debit card because you think she would break the bank. Or it could even dissuade you from starting an allowance because you’re concerned about adding yet another program to your already busy schedule.
Without a doubt, the decision to teach our kids money smarts will mean we have to neglect something else. (To use a financial term, that’s opportunity cost.) But it’s hard to believe there’s a wiser choice to be made than to engage your children in money learning and conversation.
— 3 —
Lay Those Bricks: Burkeman’s insight is useful to provide some perspective on our money-smart journeys.
“We’re all in the position of medieval stonemasons, adding a few more bricks to a cathedral whose completion we know we’ll never see. The cathedral’s still worth building, all the same.”
Life can seem overwhelming. Particularly if you’re a parent in the weeds of child rearing (to mix metaphors). Every day we are faced with moments in which we can contribute a brick or two to our kids’ development. However, we’re unlikely to see the finished product. Yet laying each brick is as important as anything else we might do. 🧱
What makes parenting perhaps more difficult than the conditions of pre-Rennaissance bricklayers is that we must also be stained glass cutters, carpenters and architects. No wonder we feel like we’re winging it.
And during all of this foundational work, time passes. Before we know it, we have a young adult who we hope is ready to take on the world. But we can rest assured that we did our best to help her make the most of her own time.
Enjoy the journey!
John, Chief Mammal
P.S. Please consult with a financial or investment professional before engaging in any decisions that might affect your own financial well-being.
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