“Do you ever pay for your child’s food when she’s out and you’re not with her?” This is what a mom starting up a Breakthrough Allowance wanted to know for her teen.
“Sure,” I said, adding, “For example, if she has a friend sleep over and our breakfast options are paltry, then I’ll give her money to go to Larchmont — our walkable neighborhood — and get something for them both. It’s our responsibility to provide for the guest.”
“But if I make pancakes and they decide they’d rather go to Larchmont to get bagels, then that’s on her (them).”
If you’ve implemented The Art of Allowance program for your tween or teen, then you’ll likely already have figured this out.
And your particular art might be different. You might always make sure that your pantry is full, and the option to forgo breakfast would always be a cost borne by your child and her friend. (I’m always impressed by parents who have more foresight than we do.)
Or you might not let them even go out for breakfast.
As long as you remain focused on teaching the core money-smart skills and operating from your why, then the decisions you make are your art for your family.
Quick aside – If you haven’t seen it yet, I highly recommend The Art of Seeing featuring David Hockney. It’s on YouTube. It’s a captivating look inside a unique mind.